Dukies gonna Duke.

So, I’m sitting on the couch watching the video, when at the exact same moment the video dog takes a dump, the dog curled up next to me let’s out a silent-but-deadly. I swear, my first thought was, “Holy shit, Deadspin has mastered smell-o-vision!”

Same here. I was really into the series through book 4 or 5, and then they became so self-aware and convoluted that I almost hate-read the last few.

Every time I see or read something about her, all I can think is, “I want to be best friends with her.” She just seems like a genuinely good and kind person who doesn’t also have a stick up her butt.

Ass treeks...

Dang... I thought my “Love Waits” ring was a testament to my adoration of the music of Tom Waits. No wonder I never got laid. (Kidding... I was in my late 20s and married by the mid 2000s, never wore such a ring, and lost my virginity at 15. Just couldn’t avoid the joke.)

Baba booey!

Me too! Stars all around.

Admit it, this decision was made after being snubbed by the exotic carp calendar yet again, wasn’t it? Damn you, Carponizer!

Same. Followed by, “Who’s Halle Bailey?” My name is Halle, and there just aren’t many of us out there.

1. Probably won’t happen, since it’s a railroad bridge and is sturdy enough that trucks don’t really do any structural damage to it.

All y’all who are providing excellent, elegant solutions to this problem: don’t spoil our fun. We here in Durham love “The Can Opener” and the morons who fail to heed the warnings.

No joke—this is the Target store where I end up at least once a week for groceries, prescriptions, or something else. There’s no way I’m answering my door at 7am. Anyone who needs to get inside at that hour has a damn key.

Nope.

Helen Mirren is a goddamn international treasure.

I rad the headline as beginning, “Abby Lee Miller’s Dong...” I can’t read anything else because I’m too disappointed I was wrong.

Hey, my birthday weekend, too! And what a 40th bday celebration it would have been. *le sigh*

It would be amazing if I could get ungreyed, because I’ve been spending a lot of time considering using DMT for the first time, and I would love to hear from others who’ve experienced it.

Good luck on the bar, and thank you for being willing to help.

You magnificent bastard.