She’s got resting derp face.

Alex wins the “news leade paragraph of the day”

Some people call abortion clinics “murder silos,” but I like to think of them as “Hitler 2 preventer stations.”

If your kid likes cheeseburgers and you would normally buy a Happy Meal containing one for your kid, all this does is force you to buy a different meal, with a larger sized drink and larger sized fries. How is that healthier? This will not force people to make do with the offered options. McDonald’s is not a health…

Don’t assume my gender, asshole.

You know what, i’m glad they had that discussion. I was on the fence about if this guy was in support of rape or thought woman should be treated as objects. Thank god the AVC cleared up that pressing issue. I can’t wait to read if Ryan Reynolds is in favor of sexual assault in the upcoming interviews for Deadpool!…

“[At this point, Middleditch’s publicist cuts in to say that we have one minute left, then asks that we return to talking about the film.—ed.]”

Apparently white men are simply no longer allowed to be creative and/or successful because the entire world is stacked in their favor and they are incapable of getting anywhere in life on their own merit. This is a healthy position to push and will not result in massive social push back at all... I’m sure of it...

I encourage you to challenge your own view by listening to any of Paul’s isolated bass tracks (available on YouTube; Hey, Bulldog and Something are two straight masterpieces I’d recommend to start). If you’re interested in their singing ability, you can also hear their isolated harmonies (the b-side of Abbey Road has…

“good musicianship” is overrated. Who listens to pop music for technical virtuosity? I know that’s sometimes what metal and classical audiences want but who cares? My favorite band is the Ramones so what do I know?

Fair enough. I was just getting agitated from reading a lot of comments directed at Tarantino essentially swearing off everything he’s ever done. This Stern interview is not new, so that’s a bit odd (to be upset now and not 15 years ago). That’s not a good example but just saying that let’s put things in perspective…

“It can be hard to put your finger on exactly what you fear most about the rise of Donald Trump: the racism? The sexism? The xenophobia? The profoundly dangerous lack of judgment?”

I like how not honoring the military leader of a separatist group that committed treason because they wanted to keep human trafficking legal so they didn’t have to adapt to the industrial age is somehow “erasing history”. I mean, get a fucking grip, right? People who whine about “OMG POLITICAL CORRECTNESS RUN AMOK”…

Stair daggers would encourage more elevator use.

Because even if what they’re doing is impotent, it’s still illegal.

This was good. I especially liked the lines about fruit roll-ups, and peeing in the sink.

Just wait a few more years my friend. When me and my sister were kids I used to give her a dead controller on a 1p game and tell her she was playing. Worked for a fucking long time. Sure she hates video games now, but I’m addicted to marijuana and she’s about to be a dentist.

I could write a list much like this except I don’t run; I just am about to turn 50.

I am noping this article so hard, as I’m literally eating a fried chicken sandwich on a donut bun for lunch.