I’m hoping he dies. Long shot but a guy can dream.

The Naz-out Game.

Man, someone can throw a toaster strudel at me any time.

This. WTF? Who cares about stupid border agents? Lie to their stupid faces and move on.

National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

He’s reading a WikiHow article about how to throw an egg at San Diego Chargers headquarters.

Maybe they meant 73 degrees?

Oh man! his wife is gonna be piiiissssssed.

I’m allowed to read “fuck,” “shit,” and “cocksucker” in any given article on Deadspin. I can read about an NFL security guard masturbating near a line of cheerleaders. I can watch a video of a guy eating a girl’s asshole in a Buffalo parking lot, and watch while a lady gives a man head in the bleachers of FedEx field.

But it is not, in fact, tearable

That’s the part that enrages and baffles me the most (aside from everything else, I honestly can’t decide). You literally hire actors to pretend to feel emotion. There is no reason to force them to actually feel it. There is no fucking reason to make a woman really feel like she’s going to get raped. Talk to her like…

“I hired an actress, but I wasn’t going to let her *act*. Jesus, why would I trust a professional woman to do her job? That’s not the point of a hot young actress! An actress needs to be taught that she’s not a professional, she’s not an artist, she’s just an object, and the best way to do that is to treat her…

Poor, poor football... who will protect it from critical thought? Finally, a champion has come forth! Thank you for being brave enough to stick up for the underdog. It’s not the NFL’s fault for always tripping over its own dick, it’s people’s fault for noticing.

But it feels like a long shot at best and sadly, nothing more.

About 90% of the guys I served in the military with are now “Libertarians”. I guess it’s easy to “Go Galt” once you have a pension.

They’re happy throw tantrums about red cups and happy holidays.

I’m with you, I stopped watching a few years ago. The best part is I have won the past two years in our fantasy league with a bunch of guys who think they are savants. It’s amazing.

You wager before you know the question.

I keep thinking I’m going to wake up.