I was really hoping this link was going to be in the Recommended Stories section. Fuck Coachella, kids. You’re being lied to. Again.

Sometimes the enemy of your enemy is still an asshole.

You’re really rooting for Mueller who probably has Trey Gowdy’s nuts in a vise for his own dirty shenanigans during the Benghazi bullshit.

My favorite part about this whole kerfuffle is that the sources on the condo non-payment, changing the locks on him, and his unwillingness to take out the trash are obviously his former “landlords” and their friends.

SO FUCKING GOOD

I can imagine. Even assuming that Cohen, unlike his toxic client, >does< pay his bills, that the smart connected shysters would, well, shy away from representing him. They know the people involved much better than we do, and even Joe Public can see that the coming fæces-storm is very likely to splatter far and wide.

I know I should really try to enjoy his pettier Twitter tantrums, but I just find them so goddamn annoying instead. We’ve had a fair share of idiots, buffoons, philanderers and outright scoundrels occupy the White House, but never has it been ALL of those compressed into one loathsome meat sack.

Everyone that challenges Trump in any way is always “lying”. Yes this make sense, dozens of well respected professionals and leaders are staking their reputations by painstakingly falsifying information to take down Trump. Sounds plausible. [Sarcasm]

NY Times, ABC News, others now confirming the Feds seized recorded materials from the Cohen raids. “Lordy, I hope there are tapes” indeed.

So America is an abandoned amusement park? Yeah, that seems about right...

Michael Cohen went to Cooley, the ”worst law school in America.” Seems about right.

Raises hand.

Who else had momentary heart failure at the idea of Leslie Odom Jr. And Katherine McPhee as a couple?

BREAKING NEWS: No matter what you do, you’re still going to die.

“Between the never-ending news of rich guy scandals, it might not look like Trump is draining the swamp, but today he said that he was, in fact, draining the swamp.”

I’d thought the Republican tradition was that when a president is found to have had an affair, the Hillary wife gets publicly shamed for not leaving her husband and for enabling his adultery/sponsoring rape. Then her femininity is called into question, right? Right?

Oh FFS...

Meghan’s dad was an adulterer who dumped his first wife after she was crippled in a car accident. He moved in with his rich side-piece before he served his wife the papers.

It was shitty when he left his pregnant ex for Khloe (and then Khloe antagonized the shit out of her) so, while this is sad and awful, it isn’t entirely without shitty precedent.

Okay: