A face you would never tire of taking a straight razor to….

You should see Andy Saltzman……

Funny way to spell 'cock'…..

Auto-fellatio!
Auto-fellatio!
Auto-fellatio!
Let me go…..

Who won the Cup Final in 1957?

And we all know how much Oprah hates dick moves.

Only one species left, the washhand Bison.

'I wasn't crazy about the Quatermass Bar and Grill either….'

Hard thyme?

If no one else will…..

Where did you get the eyebrows? Yard sale?

i once saw Talking Heads in a small club doing Psycho Killer with Kirsty McColl as guest vocalist *huffs on fingernails, burnishes them on lapel, admires their simple perfection*

I ran my eye over my cat's portfolio of stocks and shares. He's done well, although perhaps little heavy on Amalgamated Mice.

That Hanzel, always flashing the cash…..

Nobody? Nobody at all? Christ, it's been ten hours *heavy sigh*

He he, you said penis. Almost. Sort of.

Dog anuses?

Or these days, for tax purposes, Dutchmen.

Which eventually led in part to the downfall of the caption competition…..

Jonathan Edwards? The Welsh triple-jumper?