Nintendo Switch - the video game system you can drop down the pan.

You've really got to apply for that marketing job at Twitter!

'Ah, yes, I can see why the shower is draining so slowly. Monster infestation! Gonna cost ya….'

Also good advice, if you've used the bathroom and left, shall we say, an odour, it can be masked by striking a match and setting fire to the hand towels.

Please forgive me for laughing so much at this. A friend of mine has the Farmer Giles and I know just how much pain he is in sometimes. One shouldn't really find it funny but….

I'll stick with the X-Bog.

She was terrific at Glastonbury this year, and Maim Or Kill is a fantastic song, and yep, this only makes her even more admirable.

The original Nightwatch is terrific, and the remake is laughable. The murderer is so obvious in the remake they may as well have it tattooed across their forehead. Really over-the-top performance too.

Thanks for that, there's a lot of work in there. I really fancy the two 3D sequels but will probably have to get Japanese Blurays. Rings, the US 'continuation', opens next week and looks okay to be honest,

It cut back severely on the humour and gags and actually made Jason menacing again. There's some very brutal stuff with that machete….

Well it isn't exactly a glowing endorsement, and as the article says is basically a scam reusing other low quality elements from other, original creations, warmed over and disguised to look like something new and acceptable, so……

Careful, you'll have a heart attack.

The actual original marketing slogan was "Taco Bell. You Probably Won't Die*
(*Not applicable in Arkansas, Florida, Iowa or Texas)"

There is that terrible film about a guy who's hit by a car and claims he went to heaven for a quarter of an hour or some such shit, and his family regularly eat at McD's, and the burgers in that pic are hilarious, nine-inch tall immaculate Big Macs looking absolutely incredible and Quarter Pounders the size of a spare…

Your intestine's ten yards long
Oh de dough duh day

Yea! Toothpaste!

'Where some use crushed tortilla chips for that touch of crunch, we used shredded aluminum….'

Calculon Pause is going to be one of my new pseudonyms.

'Unthawed'? 'in a few days'? What are they serving up, The Thing?

'For my second one….' So, are all your financial affairs and such in order?