Neither have I and I was coming up with all sorts of ideas for 'FLG', all of them terribly rude….

Only three people know the recipe, one knowing 'Processed fried', another knowing 'cardboard' and the last 'salt', and they are never allowed to all travel on the same corporation tram at the same time.

Toast is very expensive, at least the way I have it, slathered in foie gras, sevruga caviar, kobe beef, cheese made from the lactations of artificially inseminated Swedish virgins, Nutella and amethysts.

'The nugget is a gateway drug, a young child’s unwitting indoctrination into the corporate culinary industrial complex. I knew what a nugget was long before I was introduced to kale or capon. In fact, it is one of the first two dishes I remember eating on this earth (the other dish was baked Peconic Bay scallops, a…

'Inkcoming'….. unforgivable.

Not the 24 Carrot President?

And one who performs in a London drag pub called Nikki Mingerag.

So, hate to ask this, because it's obviously terribly sensitive and please don't answer if you don't want to, but have you caught up with the Bond films yet?

Fuck me, they're out in force this week. Is there a full moon or has a consignment of loony gas been hijacked?

I know a couple into ear sex, they're at it hammer and stirrup….

Good! Only 324 days to go! Get ready, lug'oles!

Balls……. *throws away partially-completed scripts of Clownocaust and Clownageddon……*

Isn't whisky usually served by the gill?

Thomas Pynchon? Is that you?

A few years and he'll look like a family-sized Iggy Pop.

I thrummed my girlfriend once. That made her jump.

I've been eating goetta out in Cincinnati….So sad, Diabolik, RIP….

Fired egg?

Please forgive me for laughing at this as much as I did.

Strangely I very much like liver and adore kidneys but don't like heart. Don't know why.