Actually I looked up that Seagal film he so mercilessly hung, drew and quartered on Metacritic. The result is a jawdropping 3. Yes, just 3 out of 100. Even Underworld: Blood Wars is up around the 25 mark.

Years and years ago a friend of mine, knowing I was going to Italy, badgered me into getting him a VHS of the workout tape by Maria Grazia Cucinotta, who appeared in one of the Brosnan Bond movies. Certainly worked for him, his right arm was like Popeye's after a few weeks.

John 'Kid Gorgeous' Teti and Sean 'Kid Presentable' O'Neal are co-promoters.

No, no, no, best advice for Chris Brown is spend all the money, stay stupid, and die young in a bar fight you started.

The Itsy Caffeine Spider climbed up the water spout /
Down come the rain, and washed the spider out /
Out come the sun and dried up all the rain /
And The Itsy Caffeine Spider said 'Fuck that noise…'

A chef called Josh Capon? Really? But you're right about the Scotch Eggs. They're usually served cold but hot and sizzling from the pan, with something like a yoghurt dip, is just spectacular.

I good shepherd's pie is a wonderful, wonderful thing. I've been known to put mushrooms or carrots in with the meat, and perhaps a sprinkle of grated cheese on top before putting it under the grill, but why muck about too much with the classics?

IV seems to be much more forgiving about this pile of cack than most other reviewers.
http://www.thewrap.com/slee…

I feel so sorry for Thom Yorke. What's he going to do when his looks go?

'Let's see, people who ordered this title also ordered……holy mother of Christ!…..'

My Ass Is Haunted By The Gay Unicorn Colonel had me spitting out my tea. This shirt was clean on….

The vomiting crab?

Wanna see that, just stick your head round the door.

That would have been fascinating.

Full Contact, superb pic. Have it on DVD and really fancy seeing it again. Shall have to hunt it out of the towers and towers of discs hanging around. If you don't hear from me in five hours, break the door down.

Trespass was hobbled by being made under the title Looters, but just before release the LA riots happened and the studio, Universal, pulled it, re-titling it and finally putting it out months later with a much smaller ad campaign, not having any faith in it at all. Real pity, like it very much, and Paxton and Sadler…

There's far too much screaming from the goblins and homunculi in his head to allow him to concentrate on a movie.

I first saw this at a film market in Milan, immediately followed by Police Story 3: Supercop. By the end of that afternoon I had so much testosterone coursing through my body I very nearly grew a third nut.

And if you watch the outtakes, only after a number of very painful-looking failures…

Latter?