Years ago Xmas always meant getting the new Stephen King in hardback, Christine, Cujo, Pet Sematary and, I think, Thinner, which would mean me in my bedroom for most of Xmas evening and Boxing Day. Used to get nice things, don't get me wrong, and loved my folks, but the book was always the highlight. One of the great…

Piss be with you.

Somebody at Paramount has just had a lightbulb ping on over their heads and thought The Bourne Arrival….

Weak sauce Pratt!! The killer blow would have been "Now, when I was yanking it over those Fappening pics….'

No, Jesus Slim, the faith-based C&W bluegrass hip-hop rapper / crooner / redneck / hamboning singer and stand-up comedian. Made fifteen albums, each one a true cauldron of utter shit.

You've heard of Dr. Joseph Mengele, the Nazi maniac behind hideous experimentation at the concentration camps? Well, Gentle Herpes and he have never been seen in the same room together. Understand? *nudge nudge*

Does he get to take home the board game version?

I'd have paid to have Trebek buried with me in my tomb. Good on her though.

I once shared a house with a great woman, just as friends, had separate boyfriends and girlfriends etc, and we got on really great. Went out one evening before she got back from work and left a note, saying 'Have gone out. If I don't come back AVENGE MY DEATH!!!', thinking she'd sort of get the joke. Got back about…

Dear christ, calm down, you'll have an embolism.

Nice to know you have so little to lose your shit over.

The copy editing was also only about 20% finished.

Duracell™ Batteries

Mind you it does mean that your beagle now can't get up the stairs.

Still a big one to come before the year is out, mark my words….
€10 on Sean Connery.

And me and the works of T. Lobsang Rampa, or T. Rampant Lobster as he was known. Did he ever make it over to the States? Supposedly a Tibetan mystic, turned out to be some Welsh conman or something. I'm not surprised. God I was stupid when young.

A 'severe, humorless personality' would also apply to Fanny Craddock, the first TV chef I ever remember seeing on the BBC in the sixties. A truly fierce woman, caked in make-up, she was brisk, efficient and it was clear she took no shit, not even from her own husband, Johnny, who would stand behind her, obviously…

There is also this, and it is glorious.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…

Interestingly for a man who is a supposed genius, Bill Gates in the early Microsoft years apparently constantly had to be reminded by his staff what that room with the funny looking sprinkler head sticking out of the wall was for. He really didn't think bathing and personal hygiene was a big thing, and got in the way…

Happy days! We have another one!
http://www.hollywoodreporte…