I wouldn't mind arriving at each holiday season pre-rubbed…

'Mummy, what's that sound?'

AND AFTER THAT: The Stranger Things episode two but shot scat-style by some Germans!

Stu Phillips reputedly 'wrote' the original Battlestar Galactica theme by taking the sheet music from Star Wars and literally turning it upside down and slightly altering the tempo and adjusting it.

You were in the canteen?

I still can't decide whether Rich Fulcher is simply brilliant or just the most irritating bugger on Earth….

He's good too. Records all his own stuff in his home studio and it's impressive. And for one of the episodes in the last Toast Of London series, the end credits cut to Berry and his band, completely live, in a studio performing the series theme song.

Linda, I told you, it's over. I've moved on. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. All the offers of anal and a ride in the Range Rover won't change my mind. Now piss off and haunt somebody else.

'Who wouldn't want to see a movie about a princess who has a man-eating snake in her vagina?' Donald Trump. He could lose his tiny, fleshy grabbing pincers.

Actually that chicken looks rather fun.

We are so so close to Trump and West being photographed together in the White House like Nixon and Elvis.

Depends who it is.

I have been thirteen….

But there were some great offers on egg plugs and butt separators. And more spam than you could throw a stick at.

Really should be some sort of Mike Fuckabee joke in there somewhere.

In 2007 Honey Boo Boo was still just a stirring in some toothless meth-raddled hobo's long johns.

I've already got the advertising slogan - 'TORTAS IS!'

You should have heard what they originally wanted to call it………

Or have AV Angels On Horseback, which are Duracell Batteries™ wrapped in Hormel Black Label Bacon.

If God didn't want man to eat animals it shouldn't have made them out of meat! If it wanted us to be vegetarian then vegetables should have been made of meat as well.