Originally that role was going to be played by Cameron Diaz in a very early role but she injured herself in training for it.

FURNISH HOLMES!!!

'It has claws as big as cups. It has four ears, two for listening and two are sort of back-up ears. Some might be on the inside of its head. It has a retractable leg so it can leap up at you better. It has magnets on its tail, so if you're made out of metal, it can attach itself to you. It lights up at night. It has a…

Lindon Ashby? Whatever happened to him? *Googley googley googely-goo* Blimey! Still working, a lot, and a regular on Teen Wolf. Colour me surprised.

One of the most stupid production processes ever made. Instead of going to Ninty and saying 'We're thinking of making a movie of Super Mario Bros, so how much are you going to invest and how much advertising, marketing and tie-in support do we get?,' the producers went and paid for the rights! A huge amount. To make a…

What? Fires?

None too shabby when you've got an unfeisably large glass of single malt either….

That's a lovely thought. Once stayed with the ex is a cottage in the Scottish Highlands, in frigging November! It had a wood-burning fire, and I spent bloody hours gazing into the sodding thing. So peaceful and calming. We're no longer together…..

WOMBLE COMPACT!

Went to the press show which they held at London's Empire Cinema, and Holy Malone! They turned the wick right up for the soundtrack. That theme, at almost ear-bursting levels. Loved it, but literally was ringing for an hour or two after the film. Can still even remember the order in which the characters come in the…

Number of times I've heard that…….

Battle Beyond The Stars, or The Magnificent Seven In Space, even down to having the late Robert Vaughn.

I think the rhyming slang is actually 4 x 2……..

The old Zatoichi trick…..

'Originally I was not supposed to have my head cut off in an alley.' Not many people get to say this sentence.

' She had transferred from Sarah Lawrence to Wesleyan, where I was an undergrad, and I had a total thing for her. [Laughs.]' That's going to make the next family gathering a little… awkward.

These screen grabs? Is it -
A - They're really ropey this week?
B - My monitor is finally utterly fucked?
C - My vision is finally utterly fucked?

None, you couldn't eat another thing….

If I ever have a small stroke, or big coronary for that matter, that's where and how I want to be found.

A lot of them make themselves vomit after the contest, like bulemics. I mean, some of the hot dog, hamburger, ribs and meat-based competitions, that much meat hanging around in the body is a health hazard in itself for your digestion and - er - evacuation protocols. Think back to the last time you really, really…