Cruel, but fair.

'Now that I realize that I probably technically was molested when that Italian fireworks distributor put his hands on me right in front of my mother who didn't do a thing about it because she thought he was mafia-connected (probably), I guess he went back and had a good laugh over it in Little Italy about how those…

Does it come filled or do you have to provide your own filling?

Actually that was David Hasselhoff, while trying to eat a hamburger off the floor and wondering why his car won't speak to him, but the blender does.

Dear God i so want a jambon burre now….. but since it's 7.20am and i'm in a hotel in Manchester there's sod all chance of that happening….

Weetabix with honey is also very good, or indeed corn flakes, very cold milk, and cubes of melon. That's impressed a few victims over the years.

'And that was Liberty Bell by John Phillip Souza, or, as some know it, breakfast time round the 'Scopes gaff.'

Or carpaccio, one of my vices.

I'm betting there's actually be fatalities over Thanksgiving this year, through political arguments between generations which spiral out of control. Seriously. That's how poisonous this has all become.

'I can feel my chest tightening throughout the day.' Word of advice, don't fight it. Sorry, but you won't missed, you myopic, deluded, hate-filled little non-entity.

Actually 'feisty' originally meant extremely flatulent. Remember that when someone's trying to get you on a blind date with 'a real feisty gal / guy!'.

Only if your surname is Smallpiece.

'There once was a team from Nantucket…..'

'This is, after all, a movie so dire-looking that the filmmakers had a hard time even getting a prostitute to work on it anonymously.' Rabin knocks it out of the park again…

Jack Dee did a very entertaining BBC Radio 4 programme on Sooty and all the Harry Corbett puppets. He was genuinely a weird man, according to his son Matthew. When he travelled he would put all the puppets in a shoe box and punch air holes in it. And when he decided to retire he sold, not gave, the 'act' and the…

Must make Midnight Mass fun.

Or Deadpole. No… hang on…

How baffling was the rooftop?

The album they did with Franz Ferdinand a couple of years back was absolutely superb.

'…a naturally stand-offish quality to her like Margot Kidder or Carrie Fisher.' So, utterly mental then?