Quoting another commenter:  “It’s like The Godfather, except everyone is Fredo.”

Bernard Sanders?

Mitch, I’d say to him—Mitch, those glass ketchup bottles are ancient history—what I propose is a switch to the upside-down squeeze bottles—no more shaking out the ketchup, Mitch! Shaking out the ketchup—that’s yesterday! 

Or “Paleo Pudendum”?

Keto breath and other stinkiness are only in the initial phase of ketosis (lasting a week or so) when your body is producing excess ketones that are excreted in your breath, pee etc. Eventually your body adjusts to ketosis, stops producing excess ketones, and the stink be gone. My point being, Gwyneth Paltrow smells…

You know how some people have a slappable face? Ivanka has a guillotinable head.

I think she got greyed or something.

“...I love reading about the Rococo era...”

Study: Green New Deal Will Pee In Your Toilet And Not Flush It, Then Pee In The Toilet Tank So That When You Do Flush It, There Is More Pee

Nostalgic flashback.

Maple Moose Americans — key swing demographic.

PS: Love the cabin.

Good lord, couldn’t Cory have made that statement with BBQ pork rinds, or Velveeta, or Funyuns, or — anything but Hot Pockets? They are slimy and disgusting. I say that as someone who will eat anything.

Guy is truly an Assclown Trenta. (I’d meant to think up some decent puns, but then affogato.)

I’m partial to “Handbag ironer.”

Are you saying there are areas in New Jersey that aren’t landfills?

Strongly starred for “suicide vest made of hot dogs.”

Interesting hot take — my hot take aligns more with some of the replies to your comment — I suspect that the R’s will pretty much line up behind the R, and I don’t trust all of my fellow liberals not to pull another dumbass Jill Stein-type move in 2020. My hot take planned response: to regretfully (as a Starbucks…