So barbarians know what is best in life?

I think it would be better for my ego if we didn’t stand right next to each other.

In golf I believe that’s called the dreaded Double Honkey.

you forgot to knock over your orange juice.

Wow! That went faster than his CNBC talk show!

What the FUCK! THAT WAS CLEARLY OUTSIDE! A BLIND MAN COULD HAVE SEEN THAT WASN’T A STRIKE! You have to be kidding me.

/tosses keyboard and leaves.

I studied Russian and lived there for a bit, and damn this is so old school hardcore Russian it makes me smile.

I used to work with this little old Russian lady who had an interesting philosophy. To paraphrase, “Life is shit. Everything will probably go horribly wrong tomorrow. Have a good day.”

Every morning I’d ask her how she was, and she’d respond, “Feh! Life is shit. I am miserable. Everything hurts. It’s good to be alive!”

Tre Mason: Man, fuck you guys. Not only am I not holding out, I was actually the first person to show up in St. Louis for training camp this year.

The more recent Disney movies where the princess actually is the mistress of her own fate (Brave, Frozen, to an extent Tangled) are a lot better in that regard. My daughter has some Barbies and plenty of Disney stuff, but prefers the more gender-neutral Pixar movies to traditional Disney princess flicks. Also, she…

If I ever have kids, I’m not going to allow them to watch anything Disney. It’s Game of Thrones for them. Valar Morghulis, ya little monsters.

DELETED SCENE ALERT: I know this interview is lengthy so I didn’t want to bog it down with more “Big Mama” talk, but I did ask Shanté about the homophobia in the song and the specific feelings that she hurt. That portion of our discussion is below.

I heard that the seagull was fine, just a delight to work with, but the shark was pulling all kinds of Method BS... sending buckets of chum to Lively’s trailer, elbowing the seagull out of the way at the craft services line, and insisted that all the crew constantly call him “Shark,” even when the cameras weren’t…

i wanted to write something about him ruining pico de gallo. But I couldn’t, because no one can ruin pico de gallo. Except for the NY Times. They’d find a way to ruin it, like they did with the guacamole.

Pico de gallo is my number one favorite food (I literally started a garden because I was sick of always running out of tomatoes, and home made is always better) and I gave this tweet a reluctant “cringe-like.”

I’m pretty sure Don Draper came up with it.

i’m a postmodern working woman

Fuck no. Sounds like a racist fever dream that can only be found in an Ian Fleming novel. The first time I ever saw the word “negress” was when I read Dr No in 6th grade.

Kat Dennings tweets about wanting to sleep on mozzarella and Kevin Hart is no longer lactose intolerant.

‘Nova fan directly behind Jenkins, about 20 rows up, who jumped twice before the ball even went in, is my hero.