Hahaha. This reminds me of my ex crying face down on the floor in his sponge bob boxers. Why do we make such bad decisions when we’re 20?

This is good Kinja.

He has only said like 10000 times, he wasn’t drinking! GOD! He’s going to be a private citizen, so there, and you’re not even his real dad!

LIKE I have only said 10000 TIMES I wasn’t at the MALL I was doing homework!!!!!!!!

Was thinking that same thing.

Can’t help but wonder how colossally hungover Marco is this morning.

I have only said like 10000 times I will be a private citizen in January.

Welp. Thankfully vibranium doesn’t exist, because combined with this I’d throw my vibranium shield at pretty much everything.

Only sorta related, but when I was a little kid attending my first wdding (that I was old enough to be conscious of) my sister tried to convince me that “Speak now or forever hold your peace” meant “If you don’t say something, YOU CAN NEVER TALK AGAIN.” So all the way through the wedding I was dreading this. You know,…

Come on, at least make it a funeral of baptism...

Do Not Masturbate While Seated

I have never been angrier at Iggy Azalea.

there have been rumors about jay and dame sharing women since the 90s, so i dont think so

“straight outta cold beer” <—kill me pls

1/3 for the titles.

The other half being “the way it sounds”?

Oh, that arched eyebrow in the last picture.

Thing about that is that aliens, at least, are real.