This is what happens when you focus too much on RPI and not enough on the sniff test.

Wait, someone with the last name “Fartass” is a only 3-seed? The committee is corrupt.

hit by a car

I assume the back surgery is an exploratory procedure in which they’ll be looking for something resembling a spine.  

This. Sit on the couch, order Chinese food, and smoke or drink.

Going out even though you don’t enjoy going out and it’s not what you want to do, just for the sake of doing what you feel like you’re supposed to do on NYE, is aggressively stupid. Parents of one-year-olds do not have time to do aggressively stupid things. They are too tired and busy for that.

I say “gif,” like “gift” but minus the t. The g stands for “graphics,” which is not pronounced “jraphics.” I don’t give a rat’s dick what the inventor of the format says; almost literally nothing could be less relevant than that.

Nah we’re just gonna get together with family, cook some food, and probably wind up drinking champagne at like 9:30 because we’re all old.

I have kids

No. This guy is a pictures guy, not a linguist. Creating something that uses an acronym does not give you license to bend the rules of language.