Cue up The Sound of Music

It is a deep cut, but I’d add AND THE HIPPOS WERE BOILED IN THEIR TANKS by Kerouac and Burroughs.

Goddamit America, why you so big?!?!?!

To me there’s a line between joy and bad sportsmanship. Celebrating a home run with a bat flip is different than intentionally showing up or shit talking a pitcher.

When it’s five o’clock somewhere, and that somewhere is Halifax.

That’s awesome. Athletes should try to compete for this record. Well, maybe not all of them.

Leap Day as a national holiday is the best goddamn idea ever. Only problem is that it’s in February. Make it the 32nd of July and YOU’RE ON.

Pssh. Trump is an artist. A business artist. 1991 was just the start of his bankruptcy period.

Phrased confusingly. I’m assuming you mean MONTHLY should be 1/40th of your gross ANNUAL income. So if you make $50,000, your monthly shouldn’t be more than $1250.

Are we sure it was muscle man who blocked it? I think overweight Mr. Incredible used some jedi powers to redirect the bad from Buddy’s face.

But everyone knows that

Oscar Robertson would chime in with his thoughts, but no one defends any more.

I haven’t seen so many white teenagers in a gymnasium losing their shit and jumping around like that since the glory days of House of Pain.

That’s very generous, but don’t they still need them?

Same here. Too bad Terry Collins said fun time is over. Yeah, guys, time to get serious. We’ve got to play some games of baseball!

That’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

He said “generational talent,” everyone take a drink.

Whatever you do, don’t start googling around for this.

These guys are stiffer than Jack Sock.

True story. I was a teenager before I realized there was no farm upstate. That’s what living in a city does to you. Also, I was an idiot.