to re-edit all old NFL Films footage to remove any trace of the franchise's existence.

More like Bosslip, amirite?

+1 uneaten pizza

What are you talking about? The Kings were playing in Vancouver yesterday.

YAY!

So maybe you ain't Nate Silver, but you're at least qualified to work for him. Fivethirtyeight did something very similar (although it strangely omitted music) last week.

numder

"And yet they're going to trampled in the playoffs."

30. Being hit by a Chrysler Laser

Ben Cherington: We've made a deal, and you're headed to Detroit.

I shouldn't mock. I can barely do it myself.

Pizzas arrived but no slice was taken until Mr. Goodell ate. He never did, and the slices turned cold in the box.

Man. Because when I'm juicing 47 oranges to make one damn cup of orange juice, what I'm really thinking is "THIS IS HAPPENING TOO DAMN FAST!"

No no. The Paralympics is for paraplegic athletes. The Special Olympics is for vegetables.

Wow! How much was Jesus making?

Did you happen to scroll down to see some of his other work? Obviously not, or else this would have been the entire article.

I want you all to realize that we are watching a game in which the quarterbacks are Colt McCoy and Brandon Weeden. Let that sink in for a minute.

"OK, let me give you an illustration," Harbaugh says. "It's a kitty!"

Legion of Boo-hoo

This is my favorite Simpsons reference, and it's about as obscure as they get. I didn't think anyone else remembered it. It's good to know I'm not alone.