John Gruden: This is the greatest offensive output I’ve seen from a wild cat since *cums*

Right?! This is 1-2 and everything else is a pretender.

I’m racking my brain to think how MLB could recapture the magic of big games in neutral venues, and I’m coming up empty.

Uck. Gagne with a spoon.

I can’t believe it hasn’t happened yet.

BUMBO is the hot new neighborhood!

Wait a minute. I’ve heard this one before...

Man, FUCK the NSA! And the camera they have installed in my living room! #myshirtmybusiness

Yeah in my head GT didn’t know the reporter was talking about a soccer game.

Reporter: What do you think about these Frontrunners really giving it to the Japanese boys, George Takei?

Columbine outshot their opponent 168-0 and somehow still managed to lose.

Doormat Salesman? I thought he was their head coach?

OK, maybe there was no marijuana in his breakfast, but his shoes were definitely laced.

Pandemonium in Pissedthataway!

I hate that I laughed at this.

“Nah, I’d rather have Alex Smith.”

Yes, yes, and YES! Perfect list.

I agree. This is an A+ comment and and A++ handle.

Being Tom Brady’s ball-deflating henchman seems like a thankless job, but it could be worse. A-Rod’s ball-deflating henchman got 4 years in federal prison.

49ers fans are worse than Raiders fans?