There once was a man with a bucket,
Who stood on the beach just to chuck it,
He let the thing fly,
Hit his target bullseye,
It's really just football he'll suck at.

I think this is an appropriate time to remind everyone that Ray Lewis covered up a murder, got away with it, and is a sure-fire HOFer.

... Aaaaactually, technically, someone can't call Kobe Bryant a rapist, or OJ a murderer. It doesn't matter so much in the catacombs of an unrelated Deadspin post's comments, but if, say, tomorrow's headline of the LA Times read "Kobe Bryant is a Rapist," you'd better believe they'd have a lawsuit on their hands.

"Now that's how you fight for your man."

Uh oh, Gisele! She's younger and hotter too!

Ha! +1

Hey Drew, when you you your "Why Your Team Sucks 2014," use this video when discussing Browns fans. This party, which appears to take place in a strip club (not that I would know what one looks like, honey), is attended by only fat middle-aged white men with bald heads. There is literally one female in the room, in…

tl;dw: some Johnny man zeal.

Love.

Three of the top 12 are Seahawks players. This makes the point that there were no Seahawks fans until last year.

"Never forget: May is awful and will only ever bring you misery."
-Sharks Fans

Truth.

I'm sorry, I don't recognize the name. Are you a writer, an executive, or a pundit?

Yeah! Lookit me!

This looks suspiciously like Sharks Territory.

"Crips avoid putting a 'C' next to a 'K' because in gangspeak, that stands for 'Crip Killer.'" Which is why he spells his name "DeSean Jaccson" OH WAIT.

Aw CRAP!

"The Rim of the Ancient Mariener" is, coincidentally, Jamie Moyer's favorite sex act.

That's strange. Normally New York can't defend the post at all.

Sanchez > Weeden > Tebow

She weighs the same as a duck.