Called up the homebears and I'm askin y'all
Which zoo are y'all playin basketball?
Get me on the court and I'm trouble
Last week fucked around and got a triple double
Dancin' bearz everyway like Nae Nae

"I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks," Kurt Cobain once sang. Possibly nostalgic for those weeks, Cobain has kept himself locked himself inside a coffin-shaped box for over 20 years.

"Rap Genius" invented the "Gambletron 2000" to come up with a "hotness score." Is that what the writers of Futurama are up to these days?

The best thing about the NCAA Tournament: The omnipresence of Dick Vitale.
The worst thing about the NCAA Tournament: The omnipresence of Dick Vitale.

Nobody in Detroit has a computer.

Boo. +1

Agreed. Thoroughly enjoyed.

There is no way Will Leitch wrote this. I've heard of everyone on this list.

Huh. How about that? OK then. I guess your retail establishment now carries me.

It's ironic that you used the word "ironic," because it's not ironic.

To be fair, everyone loses their shit after GoLean Fiber Twigs.

It's true that usefulness of Fenwick and Corsi suffers because of late, close games, and they also suffer because of largely one-sided games where one team is playing with a "prevent" mentality. That's why Fenwick Close and Corsi Close exist. They only take into account only the first two periods, and only when the…

IS A SWISS HOT DOG FULL OF HOLES?
/throws self out

The Swiss goaltender is looking pretty hot these days. But, you know. No glove, no love.

Майкл Вик Для президента!
(Michael Vick For President)

Gene Steratore: There you go Roger. The Seahawks win, just like you said.

So, You Think You Can Leave Mr. Cooper Hanging? You Cannot!

You know, I always want to have Buffalo chicken dip for the Super Bowl, but every time I go to dip I miss wide right.

This was easily my favorite of the bunch until I read your comment. Now it's all I can see. Yet another thing ruined by the Deadspin comments section.