In a spectacular show of insensitivity, he tweeted today about cutting funding for forest fires because they keep burning. Not a word about the people who have died and lost property. If anyone needed any more proof that he’s a massive piece of shit, this should do it.

Several of my Indian coworkers this week have been asking me how/why when they look at electoral maps, that all of the major cities and metropolitan areas are blue, and all of the rural areas are red that Republicans keep winning? And why do we allow less populace areas that don’t contribute equally to the economy and…

I hate their shit, I think they’re tacky and cheap and all their underwear rides up my ass and their bras are nasty. That said, why does every brand have to be for everyone? If they’re ok appealing to a certain type of customer and being stuck in a look that’s increasingly dated, even if that means their sales…

Old man shakes fist at cloud.

What are you going to rename coconut milk though

Ach, the entitlement dripping off this:

I wouldn’t wish that on her.  

what about people who are allergic to the nuts they have to sit next to?

Okay but can they please make flights scent free? I go into anaphylaxis over certain scents (I don’t even know which ones, I just carry an epipen and hope for the best). Getting stuck next to someone doused in perfume or cologne is my biggest fear.

“I felt like such a failure as a woman because it was difficult for me to conceive”.  I’m sorry for you but i really wish women would not think this way. We are so much more and were put on earth to accomplish more than just having kids. 

Love how you added the hate crime bit in regards to Marky Mark.  Never forget!

well that's unnecessarily nasty. I know plenty of older people who go back to dating after the death of a spouse. 

How is Travis Scott not a country singer?

In other news, AA stock rises after announcing they will be laying off cleaning personnel as a cost saving measure. “We found a cheaper alternative” spokesperson states

What I like about this policy is that it basically acknowledges the plane surfaces NEVER get cleaned

“a daughter named Banks”

baby names..... Banks...... Billion....... HUH!? 

I’m due with my first in May, so I picked up a book that was supposed to teach me how to nourish my body and bond with my baby for the first forty days after birth. I skipped ahead to the recipes and the very first one was for a placenta smoothie that called for a “2 inch piece of frozen placenta”. So I obviously…

“I’m dying,” Asaly says. “I’m literally actually deceased.”

I love all you grumpy snarky commenters right now. There’s something so obnoxious about all this LOOK AT US WE’RE SO QUIRKY AND HAVING SO MUCH FUN that drives me nuts. You know what - do this party without the dozens of instagram posts and I would have a little more respect. Be your quirky selves, but just do it…