You’re trying to reason with the Deadspin commentariat. Good luck with that.

Wait, how many quarters?

I hope I look that good at 68.

Anybody know what the asterisks mean in the SABR chart?

Down 2-3

why do we not see heavyweight boxing being as popular presently?

God damn, that’s brilliant.

For as long as there have been white people and black people and brown people in America, white people have slaughtered black people and brown people.

Maybe he'll stop drinking after he kills a second guy and paralyzes yet another.

I probably should have walked Dave Henderson.

You missed two huge ones:

Been on this site for years, and I still haven't figured out which tragedies it's OK to make fun of and which ones it isn't.

Major league first basemen fielded .992 last year. Clearly MLB should either eliminate the throw to first, or make it more difficult. Like use a shot put or something.

• Teams will have a choice whether to go for one or two points after a touchdown, from different distances.

I respect the work it took to mispunctuate that exactly the way Jim Irsay would have.

What's the Wyoming jersey? Duke Snider?

I just want to pick up Jeff Fisher and put him in my pocket.

The NCAA is right. With an extra year of seasoning, guys like Kobe, LeBron, Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard, Tracy McGrady and Jermaine O'Neal probably wouldn't have had such spectacularly awful pro careers.

There's only one misspelled word on that list. No way it's Aaron Hernandez's.

Jesus Christ. As best I can tell, those are $300 seats. Why not save the $600 (or $900, can't tell if the dude is part of the party) and look at your Facebook updates from the comfort of home? And leave the seats available for someone who actually gives a shit?