Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.

I think Bosa’s attitude had less to do with old college grudges than with the well known fact he just hates the browns. 

“That guy, the one who’s huge and totally ripped and considered a great athlete by NBA standards, that’s the dude I’m gonna pick a fight with!”

It’s also neat that he’s the first player to start a game and earn the save.

My brother in law is a Jets fan.  Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices. 

Later on in his career, after being sent to Tampa Bay via trade, Winslow acquired a life-sized silicone mold of a woman’s torso—complete with vagina and anus—to bring with him on road trips, according to one former assistant coach.

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

He was Drew the Gray. After his battle with (the Balrog? for all we know) we believed him gone forever, but he has returned as Drew the White to help us destroy Sauron.

‘80s jocks were right - nerds are bad fucking news.

We’re in the final stages of my fantasy of Ovechkin being a super spy sent to play in the NHL with the ultimate goal of winning the Cup to earn a trip to the White House and assassinate the president. I don’t condone assassination, but you’d have to respect the long game.

If you haven’t seen the Bert and Ernie version of Warren G’s Regulate, it’s more or less the perfect soundtrack for your story.

My best friend and I dressed up as Burt and Ernie for halloween about 8 years ago. Went out and got pretty hammered at the bars, and then I see down the street, Cookie Monster, just standing there. Well I thought it was a good idea to jump on his back, we both fell to the ground, and that’s when I feel a shot to the…

“In an altered paranoid state, believing ordinary citizens were government officials that were tracking him and recording him.”

I could see how this would be difficult for someone so used to going...
*Puts on shades*
unnoticed.

Cannot. Unsee.

That top image makes it look like he’s forcing Jeff Bezos to smell his belly button.

Pretty sure the Unabomber only ate TCBY.

I feel like the security guard who caught the bike rack isn’t getting the credit he deserves.

SOUND FAMILIAR?! I guess you guys were so bereft of ideas for tastefully erotic Travel Porn films that you STOLE my work without any credit!