Cant wear these. Would forget I had them on and pick my nose.

Translation: creepy steve is a big creepshot fan. Also, she deserves it because misogyny is easier than being an adult.

You're a sexual predator.

Yeah & in 4 years she'll have school paid for while the rest of them (myself included) have loans for the rest of their lives, (minus the trust fund babies).

I'm sure she'll take your opinion under careful consideration. It clearly means a lot to her.

Her beard looks so soft and luxurious! I wish the rest of my hair looked as good as hers.

I was totally with you up until the Miley Cyrus as First Lady thing.

Lawyer here, married to a lawyer. I just read that passage to my husband. Our reactions were the same as yours—GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ARGUMENT, ASSHOLE. My husband said, "Wait, this guy is an attorney, right?"

Van Valkenburg filed a motion hoping to prove that the DOJ doesn't have jurisdiction over his office,

Well, that's officially the first time I've heard the phrase "boys will be boys" referring to boys raping five-year-olds.

Sure. Blame Satan. Everyone blames Satan.

ALWAYS check your sources! You would have learned that in college, if you hadn't spent all your time trying to snag a man!

Hey man, I gave away some free milk and my future husband bought that cow in record time.

I would go husband hunting, but hunting licenses have been really hard to get ever since the local husband population was decimated by chick flicks and demancaveification.

That's all I have for this.

I actually love the cow=me and milk=sex metaphor. If we continue it to its extreme, we learn that "cows" must be "milked" at least twice a day, or they will become very uncomfortable.

I'd rather get my milk from a cow that gives it freely than from a moody pretentious cow that requires a diamond. Just saying.