I'm actually incredibly heartbroken right now. I grew up in Waco and left for New York at 18. My mom still lives there. My best friends live all over Texas. Women. Men who have women they love. Women and men I've known from childhood.

*Squawk* "Karma is a bitch, karma is a bitch!" *Squawk*

As JD said to Turk, "There's nothing wrong with "crymaxing" (sorry, I've been watching a lot of Scrubs reruns lately!)

Same. Someone could plop that cheese in front of me with a side of crackers right now, and I would still do this:

Arrest the cheese

You know, I thought that was the case, too... until I pointed it out to my neurosurgeon husband.

I have a ranch where I breed pubic lice so they don't completely go extinct. I don't want a child to ask me, "why are there no crabs?" and I would have to say "they don't exist anymore, because no one would stand up to protect them."

This girl is awesome. I am so thankful she has no intention to rehab her image and is just jumping into it cunt deep.

I don't know what you're talking about because Paula Deen's sons say that Alec Baldwin IS NOT homophobic.

Had a painfully polite (...in theory) Southern-transplant friend explain it to me ("it's like, well, uh, you want to tell someone you hate 'em but can't say it in front of your mama or their mama") and have refused to call it anything but The Southern Fuck You ever since.

Wait — doesn't that make Wendy the ideal person to talk about abortion rights?

I can't the words in my speaking place.

Wendy Davis is my new hero.

My current Facebook profile picture:

He may have lost a leg, but it looks like he had a spare to begin with.

Ha. That's a dumb tattoo. Judging by the size of the package in his boxers, it's no laughing matter.

Well, he might have lost the leg, but at least we're winning the Battle of the Bulge.

Yeah, nothing wrong with having a saucy style among close associates, but that racism shit goes to far...