Girl, 18 is too young to have to worry about being someone’s step-mom figure, if you’re not into that. I’m pregnant now, but at 18 babies and children were the furthest thing from my mind. Maybe someday you’ll want kids, maybe you won’t. Either way is cool but please don’t feel like you’re a bad person for not wanting…

I would say that not only do you not owe him anything, but he owed you the whole truth about his situation from the outset. Which he did not give you.

I’ve seen and really don’t get this argument. My last name has been my last name from birth. Just like it was my father’s last name from birth. Is it more “his” last name than mine because he’s a man? Or because he’s older? It’s not “my father’s name”—it’s a whole bunch of “Keyser’s” (men and women) names. Including…

Books I see come in most often at the thrift store I work at:

Yeah. I get that books are special and important....but that doesn’t mean every book is special and important. The owner of a local bookstore sells damaged books and books with low resale value at a heavily discounted price specifically for art projects. One woman got an old set of encyclopedias and turned them into a…

Driving around in a VW van, I’d actually expect a more...herbal ...refreshment.

Along with “50 shades” and “Iacocca” (the latter being the slightly more erotic of the two), the other book I see a lot in thrift stores and rummage sales is Lance Armstrong’s “It’s not about the bike,” a title that is perhaps more humorous than originally intended.

or Forty Shades of Gray!

“No taste allowed”

Forty Shades of Grey

I vote “none.” You know they were all last-minute bachelorette party gifts purchased at Walgreens.

I hate that fucking song.

I mean, it seems like the creators of button-down shirts haven’t figured out how breasts work AT ALL, regardless of size. I’ve been a 34B and I’ve been a 38D and I’ve never had a shirt that didn’t have boob-button-gap.

One of the family stories that never fails to get told on me at any gathering is the time, as a kid, I suggested to my mom she should get “Empress” size stockings/hose off the rack, because an “empress” was better than a “queen.” If looks could kill . . . I don’t know if “empress” is around any longer as a size, but…

Old Navy? Most of their dresses are cotton, some 100% cotton.

They kind of do. I thought this one was hilarious.

Good luck. Punch that person twice for me.