very Derelicte.

I use the term ‘sloughing’ usually when actually discussing my period. But I also told someone that during a pap smear they take a mascara wand to your cervix so, I guess I am all about not softening the blow.

I call my period cravings “the bloody munchies.” I will sometimes say “I’ve become a woman” when my period starts. (Really, usually “God damn it, I’ve become a woman.”) Not sure why this phrase bothers my boyfriend.

The Painters are here!

One of my finest moments late in Junior high was a boy on the bus asking me why I was so bitchy looking, and my response of “My uterus is sloughing off superfluous tissue, and if hurts.”

the shoes need to be thrown into a black hole ASAP

A plumber/medium? Now there’s a back-up plan.

“orbs” are caused by light refraction off dust or pollen particles. It can be caused by a double flash.

“I’m sensing that you need to STFU.”

Can we refer to this place as a “Boooooooooooo-k store”?

You seem like you are a lot of fun

Charlotte never pretended to be anything but her waspy self. Carrie tried to pretend she was a good person when in fact she was horrible all the time.

I'm the shoes. All of them.

Carrie always was the fucking worst.

I’m saving my money for the vibrators made in support of HRC: Clits for Clinton.

the cost of living has risen since then, and it’s safe to conclude that salaries have risen along with it.

Oh good. An opportunity to post my favorite opening theme from 90s TV!

Helleeeeuuu. More bare knees plz.

WHAT’S WRONG WI’ A KILT, YA PURITAN PUKES?!?

A dumped a guy that had gotten waaaaaay too clingyy during a relatively short dating period (3mo). He started crying and walked slooooowly to my door. Then he turned to me, expecting me to stop him. When I didn’t he put his hand on the doorknob, expecting me to stop him. Again I didn’t, and he slooooowly turned the…