I have a sizable amount of anxiety which prevents me from putting photos anywhere on the internet that random people could get them. Go ahead and post my yearbook photo but you won’t find the 2015 version.

Hey Editorial, can we edit that “freelance” part out of her bio and get her a job around these parts?

Isn’t that funny? We’re monsters, fat and unfuckable yet men fuck us all the time.

I always find it entertaining how these people always characterize feminists as simultaneously being unfuckable monsters and dick-hungry sluts.

PLACED A BOTTLE OPENER ON PENIS THINKING IT WOULD FEEL GOOD BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK AND NOW IT IS NECROTIC

Dibs on “CONTUSION PENIS” for my next band name.

I don’t know, I’m a little leery of rings found in and around bodies of water.

Things I don’t understand.

I’m trying to think of a more laughably inaccurate statement about the midwest. All I can think of is, “No one there has opinions about football.”

I loved Mark’s article about his wedding to Alan. It was great and thought provoking. I miss Mark.

I give you so much credit for even attempting a straight face.

I feel that way about Milo.

The namers of Neveahs need to go to lleh. It’s not even spelled right.

My hypothetical never-gonna-happen daughter will be named Chainsaw.

Pictured: the Olsen twins laughing

OH MY GOD THIS IS WHY MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD

Good! It’s time people figured out that marriage is just another Industry (racket) to pad the pockets of Big Clergy, and Big Business. Marriage liscences cost money. Divorce costs money. Weddings cost money. Money money money. Stop feeding this monster and do not bother getting married! #friendswithbenifits. Besides,…

I will never get married again. Never.

I feel the same way (although I’m not in a serious relationship). If I’m ever in a relationship that is that serious, I would be completely happy with not being married, but I can understand the societal pressure to be married (along with the convenience). Plus, it’s so much easier to say, “he’s my husband”, than it…