Obviously you chose to breed.

“But the cruel joke life played on me for all those years is over, which also means the fun is over. The new money I’m making makes me happy, but it also means I have no more excuses for coming up short or not having enough money to live properly.”

Being poor is hard, but so is having money! My wealth-insecurity deserves your attention!

Yes! Gottfried would make a perfect Brock. Maybe it’s just the eyes.

It’s like that gif is broadcasting cheesy guitar riffs directly to my brain.

Gottfried is hilarious, but he’s missing that totally deranged, out-of-touch, old man thing that Danny Devito nails. Have you seen this rant about a box of watches and human teeth that was passed on to him by his father? Deliciously incoherent.

Can we please just eliminate salaries for grown adults who want to play games for a living? If we offer them, and the people who dance beside them, minimum wage they’ll still be walking away with way more than they deserve.

Nono, you’re mistaken; it’s not that they should be paid in experience. It’s that they are supposed to be grateful to be paid at all, and the same goes for wealthy professional athletes who might deign to let them be glorified prostitutes if they’re especially good at cheerleading. After all these are adults playing…

So be useful or else?

There has to be more to the identity of Jewish people and African Americans than the holocaust and slavery, right? These topics haven’t just become meal-tickets for hacky authors and screen-writers, right? They still deserve my attention, but sometimes it’s hard to remember.

My neighbor, who leaves their bags of garbage in the hallway until they feel like taking them to the dumpster, is HondAnonymous. I know this, because I do. Ask me for their address. ASK ME!

Redacted.

I’ve got high hopes for Linkle but as of now, she feels like just a feminized version of Link, which is a huge bummer. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the Hyrule timeline include multiple incarnations of Link? Like, he’s reborn every so often as a completely unique (but ultimately familiar) individual, right? I…

I recognise all the words you’ve used here, but the way you’ve arranged them makes no sense.

Bye! *waves*

Note: The screen shots featured in this article may be Not Safe For Work.

nom nom nom

Don’t like it? Get a new job where the owner won’t open the doors during the ongoing apocalypse.

Under federal regulations, they don’t have to be paid minimum wage...