I know! It’s even more random than Justin Theroux writing Iron Man 2!

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

The truth of the matter is, I’m not very comfortable having my face online! I’ve been recognized in public a few times since I started writing for Deadspin (and especially since Drew and I did the Foodspin video series), including once by a contractor who came to my house, and it was very, very jarring. Making a weird…

I wouldn’t even know if I’d been paid or not because I don’t really look.

A brief history of Americans (and proto-Americans) bemoaning new waves of immigrants besmirching the demographics of the United States:

I thought you were going to eat the cat.

Who else was mid-bite of their lunch when scrolling down to that atrocity? Fml.

Twitch is a platform for broadcasting live video. It started off as mainly a streaming platform for video games. You’re really good at Street Fighter and are also kind of funny, so you play Street Fighter all day and comment on your games, and other people who like Street Fighter watch you and pay you money. It has…

I thought this was going to be a story about LeBron and Tom Brady eating at a Greek taverna.  

I assume that’s Jaelene Hinkle waving the Pride flag, right?

I knew a guy in college who had his eyebrows tattooed on (just a bunch of circles... on... his eyebrow area). That was in like 2007. It was fucked up.

I basically clicked on this article purely to admit that seeing someone with face tattoos makes me irrationally angry. Which I imagine is their entire raison d’etre. You win, young people making pointlessly stupid decisions. YOU WIN.

How dare you - he was a miniature horse.

What age is the expiration for having Lil in your stage name? I know for Li’l Sebastian it was 23, but he was a pony.

Maybe it’s because I’m now an old, but I just do not understand all of these kids and their face tattoos. They always look terrible. Am I missing something?

Speaking from personal experience, he'll probably end up fired at the end of the year.

We had this book when I was little but it was written in what I thought was French and I could not read it. No one in my family spoke or read French so I never knew what it was, it just sat on a shelf in my room. My sister took French in high school and so one day I asked her about the French elephant book. She did…

I thought the Tour De France was about doping.

Counterpoint: the comments section of any article where people working at McDonald’s are protesting and fighting for $15 an hour.

My favorite version of Kaylor is a one-sided infatuation sitch, where Taylor is totally hung up on Karlie but Karlie is moving on and hanging out with other people. As evidenced by Karlie posting a lot of social squads on her insta, while Taylor has completely scaled back on friend pics on her own accounts. I don’t…