I've never been a big Taylor fan but I actively dislike her now.

Sour gummy candy was Prometheus’s real gift to mankind while the gods were busy being pissed about the whole fire thing.

I really don’t understand Kara’s obsession or her desire to get herself over by bashing Sheeran. Dude inoffensively sucks. Nothing else to say beyond that

Quirrell did it better.

Handfuls of reasonable Muslims is the new binders of women.

OMG the billboard with the word 'gratitude' is spelled WRONG. WHAT???

shouldnt you be like, you know, commending her for her decision, or has she does she still not live up the the ever-changing jezebel standard of feminism

That’s not really a meal, Jerry. I mean, if he had gotten Chicken Gumbo, Matzo Ball, Vegetable Barley, then I would agree with you. Those are very hearty soups...

Soup is not a meal Jerry!

I feel like neither of those thoughts demonstrate either empathy or compassion for a fellow human being and her family who are, it seems, going through some rough shit. I like a contrarian as much as anyone else, but come on.

I have a friend who uses “churlish louts” in place of “assholes” with great regularity.

Points for saying “lout.” hey y’all let’s bring that one back

Dear dining public:

I wasn’t aware coffee tasted anything *other* than bad.

Oh yeah, that makes total sense, because someone declining to attend your particular church means they instantly have to stop giving money to Planned Parenthood or any of the other secular organizations your church happens to support.

Ok fine your church is fucking wonderful. The humble bragging really isn’t needed.

I just figure, Gwyneth provides us with so many opportunities to make fun of her, why would we need to make shit up?!

Much as I hate defending Gwyneth Paltrow, I have both her previous cookbooks and have cooked extensively from them, and the recipes are overwhelmingly both accessible and delicious. I can think of six or seven in particular just off the top of my head that have become part of my regular weeknight rotation. She may be…

Didn’t Taylor buy a place in the hamptons to be near the Kennedy boy and then a hot second later they were done.

I lie curled up on the floor like an angry croissant shouting ‘FUCK OFF’.