Except… fewer only applies to things that can be counted in whole units larger than one. And while people can (“two fewer people”), a person cannot (“one less person”). Also, I love that GIF and love that you are carrying on the good fight.

Option the third: Tell that bitch “Peeeeeeeace!” Now your wedding has 29 guests which means one less person to not really remember having spoken to even once the entire night.

Vomiting but when you’ve vomited up all that’s left so your in heaving pain and all that’s coming up is some bile and mucus and you wanna die. And you know your body will just do it again in twenty minutes.

Why yes, the fact that bodega customers living in food deserts in The Bronx often make poor shopping choices absolutely proves that the bodega itself is the marker of an unhealthy community. Also, correlation is causation!

When I moved to a new city a decade or so ago, my first real relationship to the place I had plopped myself down in was to the clerks at the corner shop in the neighborhood. We chatted every morning when I got my coffee, we practiced our various foreign languages on each other, they would ask about trips I had taken…

I couldn’t agree more. The fact that citizens have to donate to disaster relief and medical bills for their friends and strangers is proof that we’ve regressed back to “alms for the poor” medieval standards of social safety net. Protecting citizens from acts of god (both by setting risk-mitigating standards before…

Amen!

As someone with an occasionally unmanageable anxiety disorder, I’m actually grateful for the automatization of grocery shopping. I have no desire to harm small businesses, but going to a corner store is quite stressful for someone like me. That said, I’m hesitant to give the tech bros credit for making my life…

“Homeless guy walks up to my car, yells at me and says insulting things.”

As a musical lover, a counter point argument:

Same. I had to turn voice recognition off on my iphone because I have a (BAD and embarrassing!) habit of saying “are you SERIOUS?” in conversation and whenever I did, I would hear Siri respond “what can I help you with?” from way across the house or inside my purse under a table at a restaurant. Creeptastic.

My mother’s company was above the hit level; my uncle worked in I think it was building 7? They both made it out based on all those lucky details like having an off-site meeting or grabbing a coffee, but because phone lines crashed we didn’t know that until my Mom made it home and my uncle was finally able to call. I…

This story brings up a happy memory for me.

One of my proudest life accomplishments is convincing my husband that shaving all the time might give me cancer.

Oh, for sure. Me too. Better than Punxsutawney fuckin’ Phil, certainly.

Cosmo or BuzzFeed

If Cthulu doesn’t win, I’m calling it rigged.

No jackalope renders this competition invalid? Cute bunny with a little wiggly nose and fluffy tail....and horns that will end you. Seems like the perfect creature to me.

To be fair, I get where they’re coming from. When my partner and I get married, we’re not going to be doing it for the enormous financial benefits, legal benefits or out of sheer love. We’ve decided we’re going to get married specifically so we can oppress the freedoms of Christian bakers. That’s just how we roll.