26 and alone?! That’s a bad thing? Seriously, you should be banging hot dudes and/or chicks, staying up late and having fun. Save babies for your 30s or even 40s. I had my first at 36 and second four weeks ago at 41. At 26 I was entering into a disasterous starter marriage and I had NO BUSINESS doing that, much less…

“...I’m older (26) and alone”

older. 26. hahahaha! you’re golden, don’t worry about a thing, seriously.

“...I’m older (26) and alone”

I keep telling myself I’m going to stop dating celebrities, but then I never do! I try and try, but every time I walk out of my house, I trip over a celebrity and find myself having sex with them. It’s a problem that I don’t think gets enough attention.

But who will strip down and play the violin to you?

Word-for-word the statement a recovering pedophile would give.

Joking aside I genuinely would hate that life.

1. It’s not like the Republican Party just started “messing with [her] community” after the election after promising to support trans rights.

2. If the “dealbreaker” for Caitlyn Jenner is “messing with [her] community,” then it’s pretty clear she’s totally cool with Republicans (or any political party) messing with a…

Her first choice was Ted Cruz......I don’t understand how she thought that would be any better.

Here’s the deal: yes, I did vote for Trump

“The Times once published an unintentionally humorous description of a Peter Ustinov documentary, noting that “highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector”.

Just like the strippers, JFK and Stalin.

I’ll tell you who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma. My parents, Martha Stewart and William Shakespeare.

Here’s a nice story about Amy Schumer, an emergency bathroom stop and a $2,000 good deed.

You’re not wrong, but the bar isn’t exactly high.

Donald Trump: orders women to pee on a mattress.

So I use the “We’re Related” app for funsies, until I checked it this morning and it said that Sarah Palin is potentially my 8th cousin through my grandmothers family. I mean, I don’t know how accurate this thing really is. It also says I’m related to both Obamas, Warren Buffett, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, and…

Everyone makes fun of the alternate timeline theory but how else does one explain this picture?

Deplorables in full sight!