Holy shit. The one email just totally dislodged a completely forgotten memory. So I was on a non-stop cross-country flight back from DC to Seattle. I had the window seat, and next to me, in the middle seat, was a...ehhhh I want to say like 6 year-old boy, and his mom had the aisle seat. About an hour into the flight,…

He looks like a live-action Lego minifig.

Look at all this bad hair.

No, no no no no no no NO. I did not read this! Stop painting us pictures, Mark, I hate your paintings!

GOD DAMN IT MARK

I hear the narcotics game is strong in Philly; you should get involved with that.

"LOL. NO."

"HAY GUYZ. CAN I JOIN?!"

What's been really troubling to me about this story, and what I would dearly love to see become more a part of the conversation when it comes to rape, is how subjective "truth" can be. I've told this story a couple times here, but when I was 16, I was raped by a much older man from my karate class - a true predator…

It made more sense in the original German genius.

Another moment of Einstein being wonderful:

YES. I tried really hard to like green juices, then I realised, "Wait, I actually love vegetables. I should just chew more of them."

This sketch is amazing, isn't it? Every time I watch it, it reminds me how devastating well-aimed comedy can be. Mitchell & Webb are total masters of the art.

FSND was a giant add for Breville. And I own a Breville. That poor man's blinding headaches were a sign of malnutrition, not detoxing.

Nope. They are going to use this cop as an example to show that the NYPD is "hard on corruption" or some such bullshit. Rookie with no connections. Check. Minority. Check. This guy is screwed.

When the cops are trying to arrest you, if you fight back, things go wrong.

Deadspin is not your freshman philosophy seminar. Just FYI.

Yep, you're right! I am definitely intolerant of Hunter's bigoted opinions.

Right? Do they have Zabar's receipts for eyes? Woody Allen DVDs where their mouths should be? Head-to-toe Lincoln Center tattoos? Nonstop complaints about the 1? What's the tell?

You know, that lady down the street. The one that people are always getting the wrong idea about.