To be perfectly honest, I was a little dubious at first about the prospects of a Laszlo-centric episode, but the whole Jackie Daytona persona was gold.

Bill and Ted played against Death for their lives, not against the devil for their souls.

You left out, “Source?”

First they came for CumTown, and I did not speak out, for I was not a Redditor.

“I don’t know them words so I’m gonna assume it’s cussin’”

If I looked like Ted Cruz all my masturbation would be accidental, too

Learning how to draw this just right was a very important part of being a 7-year-old.

I mean, drenching the protagonist in piss does seem awfully on the nose.

And it will turn you blue—permanently—if you take too much of it.

The early scenes, where Louise teaches the aliens the word “human” and she and Ian introduce themselves individually, do this; later scenes drop the pointing-and-talking aspect though.

“There’s no correlation between what a heptapod says and what a heptapod writes”

It fucking ends with the villain fusing with his murder robot and ruling over Hell. Yes it’s Disney’s darkest movie.

Well then what the hell are we supposed to do with all these stink badgers?

I’m bemused that there are TWO species of badger with “stink” in their name, as if you couldn’t look at any badger and immediately know that that animal smells like day-old shit and impending death

Your badger is a stripey-faced groundhog. American badgers look like they’re wearing warpaint. CHECKMATE SIMPY EUROPEAN BADGERS

Holy shit the hog badger is one ugly motherfucker.

a movie set in Medieval Times

You’re either a monumentally stupid sack of shit or you’re a hideously evil sack of shit. Either way, sack of shit. Enjoy your artificial sense of self-superiority until enough people realize they absolutely ought to hate you for literally being what is wrong with the world.

People like you report to people like me

Because I missed an important early step: have parents with money