Are you likewise wondering why they won’t get on the floor?

Considering Pierre = Peter, this is obviously correct

Shit that sounds like a legit body-swap comedy.

At this point there are, in a good year, maybe three good teams in the NFL, so that’s nothing unique to the Cowboys. It was a 5-meter dash to mediocrity and everybody won.

It’s like they take the term “shit-talking” to mean “making statements that are utter shit”

I’ll turn myself in, but first I need someone to promise they’ll be there through my incarceration.

Don’t six make it in? Get Thin Lizzy on that list too, for Christ’s sakes.

*Makes note to add “rockcollector” to repertoire of SFW insults*

But it was a hit! In honor of its achievement, it is my privilege to extend a laurel and hearty handshake . . .

A) Fuck candy corn

A) Fuck candy corn

Always remember, hockey is not about winning, it’s always about fun.

I’m a big fan of frilly toothpicks.

NYC people should keep pizza opinions to themselves, because nowhere else is NYC when it comes to pizza and you should stop shoving our faces in it, intentionally or otherwise. You’re all even aware of this, because every time I’ve ever heard/seen someone from NYC comment about pizza it comes with a “Maybe it’s…

Is this a visionary masterpiece from a 22-year-old who has never before made porn

“This. is. BONKERS.”

Pumpkin might be the one pie I like equally well warm or cold. Fruit pies I prefer warm (not hot); meringue pies cold.

Twenty-five? No. Fifteen? Yeah.

Lebron has fuck you money but China has fuck all y’all money

that didn’t make Starship Troopers a bad film.

“For fun, I tried it on myself and was treated to a thorough, pleasant washing of my balls.”