No, I think part of the reason he hates her so much is that she doesn’t give a shit about appearing to care about being attractive to men. He can’t sexualize her, therefore she has no value. And worse, it’s a woman who doesn’t care if he finds her attractive who will stand up to him.

I still love animal crackers. I eat the head first, then the feet, then the body.

How generations have changed.....

You are awesome! When my oldest daughter was 2, we took a flight, and the (male) flight attendant gave her a pair of plastic wings. My husband pinned them on her little sunsuit and said “Wow! Now you look just like a pilot!” The fact that he didn’t tell her she looked like a “stewardess” made me realize anew that I…

What a great story, even though it wrings my heart. I remember when Sally Ride became an astronaut. What a thrill for little girls!

No, just 2016, the Onion of years.

“People were amazed at how insightful I was”: not something an actually insightful person would say.

-The residents of the greater Tampa Bay area.

Oh great, jellyfish have learned how to post internet comments.

This is the least fun thing anyone has ever said.

I tried using my boner to write with, once. The pen taped onto it really didn’t work that well, my hips got really tired trying to do fine movements, and the tape hurt a lot coming off.

I never realized that he looks like Steve Carell’s hobo cousin before.

Right and wrong matter... UNLESS YOU ARE KILLING WOMEN IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA IN THE LATE 60s, AMIRITE TED!?

He’s more a Munsters guy

Any time you can use a Life of Brian reference, you should.

Third Eye Woke.

Yeah! Fuck Science!

Third eye open, well done.

“I don’t want to celebrate your holidays, I sure as hell don’t want to cheer for your soccer team”

FUN FACT: Due to religious-based dietary restrictrions, none of these athletes can eat Donald Trump.