If they said he was trying to summon demons from the underground to push a diet pill pyramid scheme I would’ve believed that also.

“She turned me into a nert!”

There are way too many great Senior Wirches of History to even fit in one gif party!

“Those fingers in my hair
That sly come-hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It’s wirrrrchkaaaarrrft”

8) Nobody deals drugs out of a building where a cop is known to live.

7. No one involved in a situation like that ever drops their boy off at the ER with a GSW and is like “We out”.

Reverse Vampires, out in the daylight, because they are from Tan-sylvania.

This shit doesn’t just smell fishy, it smells like a goddamn cannery. In one fell swoop, the Dallas PD gets to murder a key witness, set up a potential retrial for Killer Becky with the Elmer Fudd face and paint negroes as stupid.

Guilty—of WIRCHKARFT!!!!!

(I guess I’m just using Endora as an excuse to post my favorite Wirch GIF.)

Lol! I would not mess with the local Hexengewerkschaft, man!

Welp, the hunt is over. Good job.

WIRCHES!!

BINN THE WIRCH!!

TREASON!

Sounds like an easy way to burn the sage would be to simply set it directly onto his CPU.

Found him!

Basic checklist time. Water first, fill every container you have with water. Food: Dry non-perishable food works best. If you have a grill, get fuel or charcoal. Then cook all your frozen items if you have any. Stock up on batteries, candles (a storm lantern and some oil/kerosene can be a life saver). Solar battery…

They were telling us up to last night that our county would NOT be effected. Then today they told us to be prepared to be without power for five days. Way to give us 12 hours notice, PG&E.