It looks like you get two Mr. Beldings for the price of one.

Oh good, this really lets me off the hook during general elections. If the Dem candidate calls I’ll just let them know that I supported their opponent during the primary and therefore assume I’m blacklisted from volunteering for them or even voting for them.

That’s a petty nice interior. I really wish Toyota would steal it and move away from their giant plastic Tonka interiors.

To really get into conspiracy theories you have to be willing to believe a lot of things that are absolutely at odds with objective reality.  The first, ironically, is that you are smarter than everyone else.

“They told us, ‘This is what happens if you just cower and do nothing,”

We’re not saying your car’s lane departure system will freak out and crash you into a wall. We’re just saying that for $100 we can install a little light that will warn you if it’s about to slam you into a wall. Give it some thought and let us know which way you want to go.

I have no love for the guy but it seems obvious that the point he was trying to make is that there has been such a dearth of female candidates that we default to males picking female running mates instead of vice versa.

PivAAAHT. PivAAAAHT!

I’m going to assume this is all fake news since that top picture looks exactly like a prop Hollywood would create if it had to invent something that looked sciency.  Nice try Ryan.

Maybe the schools should give the athletes preferred access to incredibly posh dorms, pro-quality gyms, 24-hour dining rooms with athlete focused chefs, and free tuition to make up for some of the hard work these students put in.

I agree with the complaint about all the gyrating and gesticulating.  Either gyrate OR gesticulate. Doing both is simply obscene.

I look forward to all the “how will we pay for it” concern we’ve seen so much lately from the Republicans.

It seems unfair to wear a beard to a slapping contest. Or maybe it’s stupid go clean-shaven.

This will give David Tracy plenty to write about in 40 years.

I might be a genuine compliment, but it should absolutely not be mistaken for a prelude to, “I want to have sex with you.”

I’m the same age as both of you and I’m really leaning in to how little I care about the admiration or approval of young bucks at the gym.

“Hmmmm, this large bag of small peanut butter cups is actually a much better deal than the actual candy bar. I’ll just eat a few and snack on them all week.”

You may be right, but I bet it gets boring once you already own a dozen black or red or maybe yellow $1 million cars.  Gotta mix it up somehow before you realize money also can’t create meaning in your life.

“Baby, I don’t want to hit you. You just make me so mad sometimes.....”

Man, all this hate for people photographing their meal. I just took a photo of my sandwich and I don’t care who gets annoyed by it.