Pfft, we’re going straight to 5H bitches.

Tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations! Funny how that’s the one thing they managed to hammer through.

It’s weird how when someone says, “Or as Julia Child once told me....” I want to punch them instead of keep listening to their opinions on wine and food pairings.

Have you tried taking them off and putting them back on? That solves like 90% of sneaker problems.

He looks tall for an 8th grader.

Russian oligarchs have to put their money somewhere.

70s Land Cruisers are just as much of a statement as a new lifted Jeep. You’re just broadcasting a different message. (i say that as someone who would love an Fj60)

But it’s got doors on it so you couldn’t hang one foot out the side like everyone loves to do with golf carts.  That’s a fatal flaw.

Drivers who don’t pull all the way into the turn lane when it starts. They just gradually slow down and creep into the turn lane so they aren’t 100% in the turn lane until they are also completely slowed down.  Now we all have to slow down to turning speed along with you.  just get over already!

Birth plans are fine. Go ahead and make one with the understanding that it will be 90% useless. As Drew notes, it’s a good way to manage some anxiety, and it’s also a good way to understand what is and isn’t important to you or your wife and why. It’s better than staring dumbly at the nurse when they ask a question…

I love the “socialist-communists” term. “I’m not sure what exactly they are or how they’re different, but I’m sure both are bad so I’ll just hedge my bets and hyphenate them into one terrifying group.”

It’s been awhile since I’ve been back, but my Toyota was instantly and universally noted as the only foreign car in my family’s small Missouri town. Maybe it’s changed, and obviously St. Louis is bigger, but in a world that voted for Trump you should know better than to assume “people don’t care if you drive an…

Comcast? I wish. I still dial-up through AOL. They keep sending me the CDs in the mail so I’ve stuck with them. You’re right though, I may have to work out some kind of deal so they aren’t hogging the phone line trying to sell stuff on the internet while I’m trying to call movieophone to buy tickets for date night.  

I’m surprised at all the hostility towards people trying to understand it in more detail. My take has always been, “How is it 2019 and we don’t know basic things like this about the female body?” I can’t think of many other biological process where science’s response was ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is one of the few article on the Takeout that hasn’t left me feeling hungry.  I will never shame someone for eating what they like, but both the taste and texture do not work for me.

I suspect flushing the pictured toilet doesn’t simply open a trap door straight to the tracks below. Shame, that was one of my most memorable train experiences as a kid.

After Lehman Brothers moved out in the middle of the month I had to shampoo the carpet TWICE to get the smell of AXE bodyspray out of the carpet. Lesson learned.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I offered them;

I assume 69% said, “Well my finances can’t get any worse next year....”

That does sound like a Republican! Also, you could note that the economy* has never been stronger.