I tattooed one of my Barbies with an exacto knife and some blue mascara. I think I'd just read something about ritual scarification and decided to try it on her.

I like the Queen, but she should not mess with Kate's style. The woman looks fabulous all the time and I want all her hats.

Yes. People kept trying to pass it off as "drag queen joke cuz he was DRAG racing!" but no. It was lame and terrible and ugh.

If anyone was wondering which state grows the best legal pot...

I was only going to watch the kickoff, and then the Broncos bobbled their snap into the end zone 12 seconds in. Seattle scores without even touching the ball and I was hooked.

WINE FUCKING HURTS COMING OUT MY NOSE ASSHOLE

Shittiest beer. Best commercials.

Tights and cardigans are mine. I am secretly a sexy librarian.

Right? Like what is even the point of that? Oh, right, because women never actually WANT to have sex, we always have to be persuaded to grudgingly release the kraken or whatever. Personally I like to make mine take a MENSA test and then bake a souffle before I take my panties off.

I have mastered the art of closing.

There's an elementary school down the end of my street. School just let out and I'm watching the kids walk across my lawn to the corner. They're all decorated in Seahawks construction-paper hats, carrying banners they colored, and 2/3 of them are in jerseys. It's adorable.

I'm not a sports person either, but everyone gets so excited about it. Like we're all one big family cheering them on together. It's a real sense of community.

Huh, I had the opposite impression. The first half was kind of a depressing slog but the second was much more entertaining. I think the low point was Bates and his "oh your suffering makes you higher and holier Anna!" Ew. Squick.

Does it have to be Poland? Could we do like ... Martinique, maybe?

It's such a handy word, though. When I hear someone say it seriously, I know I can immediately stop listening to anything they say. Same thing with "sheeple".

I read that, and even though I said I "stopped being poor", the article is right about women being worse off financially after a divorce. While I had, finally, a positive cash flow and was able to pay my bills and so on, the marriage ruined my credit for the next 10 years. He'd put things in my name all the time and…

Hey, he got married again. They've been together for like ... 10 years now? And they live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment with two small children and rely on food stamps, charity from friends, and his well-honed con artist skills to survive.

Paul told the audience that being "married with kids versus unmarried with kids is the difference between living in poverty and not."

I've told my XBL story before, where a guy harassed me on there over a game of Catan. Because I moved the robber one time to a hex he had locked down. The other two guys playing thought his reaction was funny so they kept moving it back there. And guy#1 kept yelling at me for it. And then quit and rated me…

My mother is one of those people. The things she likes are interesting and acceptable hobbies, and things she doesn't like - even if she's never tried them - are silly nonsense that she can't imagine anyone enjoys.