I’m dying at Lord Alzheimers suggesting that someone should speak without notes when he can’t even get through a full sentence without 3 subject changes and 4 non sequiturs unless he’s got a cue card right in his fucking face.

Yeah as far as I could tell it was a buddy movie. Two leads. So why was Viggo up for Best Actor but Mahershala only “Supporting”??

Finally! A makeup look that matches my actual skill!

Right? And that was tagged onto the end of the email about how he was looking for “God-fearing” tenants and a whole paragraph about cleanliness being a sign of “upright moral character.” Coupled with no clear shots of the outside of the house and interior photos that looked very magazine-staged. I reported it to…

Iran into one of these scammers when I was looking for a new place a couple years ago. For whatever reason I attract an astonishing number of romance scammers online, so I spotted the rental scammer pretty quick. They use very similar turns of phrase (God-fearing is a popular one).

I remember being so indignant when I finally learned the meaning of all those words in the pledge. How dare they make us recite this oath without explaining it first? 

Yeah I stopped saying the pledge in third grade, when I finally learned what all the words meant. No one even noticed. Or if they did, they didn’t care, because I was a timid little white girl.

Mr. Bells texted me from work and said “You want to get lunch and go ring shopping?” I picked a ring. He bought it.

I did actually talk to her last week about using it for my shoulders; my left shoulder especially is still really tense. She said it was ok for me to use it but not to do anything if it hurts.

STASH BANDZ. Ladies’ exercise leggings rarely have pockets so I ordered one of those off Amazon. It’s a stretchy belt with pockets. Also good for travel!

I went to Payless on Sunday to check out the liquidation. The ladies 7.5 section was already gutted. The line was out the door. There was ONE poor woman working, and literally no one could do math except her. The people in front of me in line wanted her to price-check all 8 pairs of shoes they were carrying because…

The thing is, shoes, much like bras, are something I have to wear for a whole day before I know if they’re comfortable. So yeah, I can try it on in a store to check the size, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to like it after 8 hours. And then I can’t return them anyway, so I figure I’m not really losing out buying…

The Value Village in Kirkland, WA is insane for the amount of designer stuff and really good furniture. And my daughter found me this teacup the other day:

ooooh I have a foam roller and my chest muscles are still super tense from my surgery so I’ma try this stretch.

Oh man they gave me heparin after my open-heart surgery and the bruises were IMMENSE. It took them longer to fade than it did for the scabs to come off my incision.

We still have a TON of players where I live. Saturday was a “community event” so we went out to the mall (if you sit by the Starbucks you can hit 3 pokestops at once) and it was packed with people playing. Some people were set up at tables with 3 or 4 phones/tablets. I saw a woman in her 50's wearing a goddamn…

I played when it first came out, then I gave up on it. Then last year I had open-heart surgery and I’m supposed to be getting more exercise now that I can (pulmonary valve replacement). So I added it back to my phone because walking is BORING and I need something to do to motivate me to get out of the house.

I was friends with a little neighbor boy when I was about 4, and after a birthday party at his house he gave me a little stuffed lamb that I’d liked while I was there. I still have it, 40+ years later.

It’s especially insane because the two reasons I’ve seen most often for why yoga pants are “bad” are: 1) the thin fabric makes you look too sexy, and 2) women who go out in athleisure don’t care about their appearance.

I slid coming out of the gas station in Kirkland last week. It wasn’t even a big slope, and it looked dry. AND I have AWD. Doesn’t really help when you’re braking, though.