I just read it (the PDF is online) and ... yeah, they’re not going to be filming that as written.

My dog, who weighs 10 whole pounds, has attempted to physically attack a parked UPS truck. But he’s often scared by his own water dish.

Doubly hilarious since every one of the symptoms of these “conditions” they’re theorizing would go double for Trump.

He alternates between trying to defend me from the regular vacuum (as I’m vacuuming, naturally) and running away from it. He is a very weird dog.

I really want a roomba because I loathe vacuuming so very much, but I think my dog would either murder it or have a heart attack from terror.

In the early 80's, when I started middle school, apparently there were still people telling girls that you weren’t supposed to shower or wash your hair during your period, either. Our health classes kept reiterating that it was, in fact, perfectly okay to do so.

It’s like angry baby Prince William.

NPR’s headline called her fiance “also a winner” since she said yes. I like that they flipped it on him.

I remember being in a store once, waiting for my mom to check out. I was tired, and leaning on my daughter’s stroller. An old man walked up to me, pointed at the stroller, and said “You should be in there.” I thought he meant I looked tired and needed to sit down. It wasn’t until 10 minutes later that it hit me what…

It’s funny NOW, 10+ years later. At the time it pretty much prompted me to start wearing makeup again.

Japanese food is pretty much impossible. There’s soy sauce, there’s often flour in sticky rice, or there’s noodles. And also my husband won’t eat fish, so we don’t get Japanese anymore.

This is my favorite story!

Meanwhile, my daughter, who is 19 but looks about 14 to me, gets offered wine in restaurants regularly.

One morning I was volunteering at my daughter’s school for picture day. I had my hair in a bun, no makeup, and a baggy “Jedi Academy” sweatshirt on. A teacher asked me whose class I was in.

Oddly, I never got harassed for nursing in public. I DID occasionally get scolded for being “too young*” when out with my infant, but never when I was nursing. I was almost disappointed because I was SO READY to confront those people.

I’ve been volunteering at a museum for just over a year, and yesterday I floated the idea to my boss that I might be interested in a paid position if there was something she thought I’d be qualified for. She was thrilled at the idea and encouraged me to apply to everything they have open.

I’m going to have a zillion blackberries in about a week, but that doesn’t count as gardening because in Western Washington they’re basically weeds that grow EVERYWHERE.

Yeah people who think it’s that easy didn’t have a kid who would scream and refuse to nurse if you tried to cover them. Some babies don’t care, others hate it. Mine needed to stare at my face the whole time so she would rip the cover off as soon as she was able.

I totally could have done that. I let down like a goddamn fire hose.

Nordstrom’s sometimes has a “mother’s lounge” in the women’s bathroom but separate from the toilet area. Comfy couches, changing tables, I loved that spot. It was often full of teenage girls hanging out but they vacate real quick when you whip out ya boob.