I feel for my poor baby sister, who is like a 34G and attracts a lot of unwelcome male attention. Especially since she’s gay, and has been with the same girl since they were both 15 (she turned 21 yesterday).

They were totally these, weren’t they? Harlot.

Pants=death in childbirth. It’s just simple logic!

I bet you she complains on Facebook about how everyone is so sensitive and offended by everything these days.

I don’t deliberately put things under my bed, but somehow stuff keeps migrating there.

It’s like I said about the gorilla incident; you assume that anything targeted toward families with kids is going to be generally safe for them. You assume a zoo is built to keep people out of the exhibits. You assume Disney World doesn’t have man-eating reptiles lurking around every corner.

She got a one-day suspension because the kid’s parents complained. Keep in mind that my daughter is 95 lbs on a good day and this dude was like 6 feet tall.

$150?! Jesus Alaska charges $25 if it’s a direct flight and $50 with connections.

Yeah my stepson flies alone a lot, because he travels between our house in Seattle and his mom’s in Wyoming. He’s almost 16 but I still pay for unaccompanied minor service (it’s optional on Alaska after, I think, 14?) He’s on the autism spectrum and he’d have a lot of trouble speaking up if someone was touching him…

Yes, exactly! They’re all in their own little homes, filing as single parents with no income, and reaping a shitload of benefits. They also call it “lying for the Lord”.

My strategy for marrying Idris Elba is to get Ian McKellen for my husband. That’ll keep him busy.

I remember seeing these Twilight-esque recovers in the Young Adult section of Borders (when Twilight was big and Borders still existed):

I am going to eat ALL OF THAT

please to link because idfc if my family groans, I’m making it anyway.

My family will totally drink spicy V8 juice but they turn up their noses at gazpacho. Go figure.

Look, I’m bisexual and all, but I need to know what I have to do to date Tom Hiddleston, not Taylor Swift.

I got lucky with my neighbors, and I live in super-suburbia so I’d say you’ve got a better chance! The couple across the street still have much-younger kids, but they were delighted that a babysitting-age kid moved in so we’ve become buddies. They drastically overpay my daughter to babysit and I bring them beer on…

Yeah, I had my kids 10 years before all my friends did. I was a mom at 24 and they all waited until their 30's. So here’s me with my almost-19-year-old and my friends’ kids are 10 or under.

They dropped this “rehearsal” video before the Tonys:

It’s hit or miss for kids, depending on their age and what they’re into. I took my nieces (7&9) when they had a Looney Tunes exhibit and they were ALL OVER that. My stepson (15) can’t be pried out of the Indie Video Game exhibit.