We’re going to our friends’ house in about 20 minutes for their 22nd annual Beltane party. I will drink pretty much everything: prosecco, mead, beer, idk. Then we will drunkenly run around a Maypole clotheslining each other with the ribbons.

Apparently not in Oklahoma.

Yes! I don’t think my mother’s on any of those forums - she’s not overly fond of the internet in general. But so many of the sorts of things she says and the ways she reacts are written almost verbatim in there. Because she feels something is the right thing to do, it doesn’t matter in the least how it’s affecting…

The legal definition of “sodomy” usually includes both oral and anal sex. Anything that’s not good ol’ heterosexual p-in-v, basically.

I’m really tempted by the Liberty Bra Dresses. I might have to go for that even though I promised myself I wouldn’t buy anymore dresses.

I’m really tempted by the Liberty Bra Dresses. I might have to go for that even though I promised myself I wouldn’t…

oh hi mom

It was perfectly legal to force your wife to have sex with you in most US states until the early 90's, that’s for sure. Because we trade all bodily autonomy for that ring!

You’re probably right, unless the guy has a “promising football career” or something.

Yeah I’m betting that the Venn diagram of people who are concerned about “them transgenders” in the bathroom and people who think all of Cosby’s accusers are liars is pretty close to circular.

I mean, I guess? I don’t really have anything to compare it to. I have pretty unpleasant periods but I can’t really say if they’re worse than anyone else’s you know?

But, you know, they’re really concerned that a guy might put on a dress to go into the ladies’ room and assault someone. Whereupon they’ll do nothing about it anyway, probably, but hey.

My daughter saw that story and was like “So wait ... a bunch of MALE COPS went into the women’s restroom to kick her out?”

God bless that man for this gif.

Long hair won’t save you either: I’ve had people ask if mine’s a wig. Because it’s curly? I don’t know. But apparently it doesn’t look real, and I don’t even spend time styling it.

I’ve heard that you can bring your kids under 12 in with you. So you’ll probably need a birth certificate for them in case your son happens to be big for his age or something. Also that’s perfect because your 13-year-old can go meet Dennis Hastert in the men’s room all by himself, right?

When my kid had short hair (and wanted it cut shorter) the lady at the salon couldn’t figure out if she was a boy or a girl. Despite her pink plaid skirt and my saying “she” about 50 times. My fault for giving her a neutral name and letting her do what she liked with her hair, I guess.

I was just saying elsewhere that yesterday, at the mall, I saw a Sikh woman with pretty much a full goatee and mustache. It’s probably already difficult enough for her to use a public ladies’ room.

I don’t know why that’s so funny this morning, but I’m wheezing now from laughing so hard.

Yesterday, at the mall, I saw a Sikh woman in a turban who had significant facial hair. Like that reddit thread from a few years ago. And all I could think was how difficult it must be already for her to use a public ladies’ room. The number of “rapists in a dress” that shit like this is going to catch is pretty much…

Like a muppet that’s been left on a hot radiator.