Are you near Seattle? Come to my house, we will sew all the things.

I have fluffy frizzy curls and a round face. Ruffles make me look like Shirley Temple stole her mom’s clothes. NOT happening.

Also the Huntington Library in Pasadena, CA has a First Folio and a Gutenberg Bible on display!

I can trace back to William the Conqueror, so I’m fairly sure I’m in line for the British throne and I plan to take back Scotland.

Yeah, I have a friend who is a tad obsessed with squirrels and one day one of her favorites, that she fed daily, bit a chunk out of her hand. She had to get rabies shots. I don’t recommend letting them in.

I’m more of a Garanimals t-shirt, myself.

I mean, maybe in the past 3 or 4 years, there’s been some social pressure not to be an asshole white person ruining everything. But otherwise, no.

SLC is like the Gomorrah of Utah as far as most Mormons are concerned. Provo is the heart of real LDS country.

Yeah a handful of chocolate-covered espresso beans gives me heart palpitations, I think that’s sufficient caffeine.

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppppeeeeeeeeeeeee

We didn’t try to get him to drink it, because it had to be a secret until it was “ready”. Like it would suddenly morph into some alchemical miracle and not just a godawful smell. Or maybe we were hoping he’d stumble across it and accidentally drink it. Logic was not involved.

Yeah, Mr. Bells is the same. I have tried every kind of fish with every kind of seasoning/coating/topping and he doesn’t like any of it. He can just tolerate deep-fried battered cod, but he’s celiac so it’s not something he gets much.

Wow you should meet my kid, she was just like that. Refused all “kid” food (she still will not eat ketchup, ever). Wouldn’t eat chicken nuggets, peanut butter, ranch dressing, cheeseburgers. McDonald’s did not like the idea of putting a Filet O Fish in a Happy Meal in the late 90's, let me tell you.

Hell, I’m 43 and I still catch myself thinking “When Dad gets back I have to tell him about this.” And then I remember dad’s not coming back not ever.

Seriously, you’ve only barely learned to distinguish yourself from other people, and you still probably think you’re the center of the universe.

I remember a friend and I found an abandoned washing machine half-full of water out in the woods and we filled it with all kinds of condiments and leaves and things to make a “magic potion” that we were somehow going to get her brother to drink. And then it would do something ... bad? Magic?

My daughter makes me buy a giant crate of a similar brand whenever I go to Costco. She loves the stuff.

MMMMmmmmmayo. The whitest of white foods.

I am laughing so hard at this I can’t tell my husband what it is I’m laughing at.

Honestly though you don’t get a lot of ALTO leads. Yay not a soprano part! Boo can’t audition anyway! lol