I remember a friend and I found an abandoned washing machine half-full of water out in the woods and we filled it with all kinds of condiments and leaves and things to make a “magic potion” that we were somehow going to get her brother to drink. And then it would do something ... bad? Magic?

My daughter makes me buy a giant crate of a similar brand whenever I go to Costco. She loves the stuff.

MMMMmmmmmayo. The whitest of white foods.

I am laughing so hard at this I can’t tell my husband what it is I’m laughing at.

Honestly though you don’t get a lot of ALTO leads. Yay not a soprano part! Boo can’t audition anyway! lol

You have to fight me, a 43-year-old tone-deaf white lady for Lafayette.

I’m a Daughter of the American Revolution. Let me tell you, you would not know black Americans fought if you judged by our meetings.

How many dishes we can use mayonnaise in!

“Transsexual” isn’t really used anymore. It’s an outdated way of saying “transgender.” A trans man can still have female reproductive organs.

I love it, but I told my husband never to try and get me tickets because I ugly-cry through act 2.

Oh man, I had a poor fifth-grade girl try to talk to me about her period once, and she couldn’t even say the word. Like, she drew a dot on a paper and circled it. And when I was like “wut” she whispered “like at the end of a sentence.”

A trans man may still have a working uterus. Remember all the news about the pregnant man a few years ago? He was still having periods, obviously.

I have literally not been able to stop it playing in my head since I first listened to it. A month ago. There has been a consistent Hamilton soundtrack in my brain.

Basically yeah. It’s all part of my fun rubella-baby package. Two cervixes, too. Pap smears are a barrel of laughs.

oh jesus christ I know about this because my mother had the same “concern” when my daughter got her period. I was telling my mom “nah, she was very calm about it, I demonstrated the use of pads and tampons and that was it.” My mother’s response was “Tampons?! But won’t that break her HYMEN?!”

Now that is how you get some fucking personal space!

Do you ... regularly get hit in the nuts one week a month for 30+ years of your life? Because if you do you might want to carry around extra cups, yeah.

Yeah the only reason I didn’t send Mr. Bells for them was that he’s so terrible at remembering what I asked for he’d come home with 4 different kinds, none of which was right. So now I text him a photo of the package. Last time he came home gleeful that he found them on a 2 for 1 sale. Keeper!

Two words: vaginal septum.

I’ve got a friend named Josh who is a huge giant dork painting Warhammer minis in his kitchen and brewing mead that he doesn’t actually drink because he’s Mormon - but he is also a super-nice dude who is the single father of an 11-year-old girl so if he doesn’t have tampons in his house right now, he will shortly.