idk, I like that the girly elephant sticker comes complete with pearls to clutch.

Ditto. I have really low blood pressure but I’m afraid it’d shoot up high enough for me to stroke out.

So ... if she gets the nom, who are you voting for?

I think Applebee’s should have at least ranked below “being hit by a car”.

I am going to pretend that is actually a photo of you in that. And that is how you strut around the house all day.

Thiiiissssssss

It’s totally true. If I forget to moisturize my skin goes ballistic with the oil production and by the end of the day my face is like a bucket of KFC.

clearly and consistently teach that abortion kills a living human being and is against public policy

Side note but I was like 25 before I realized men don’t wipe the tip of their tallywhacker after they pee. I had a brother just 18 months younger than me, I have no excuse.

Oh they always claim a friend of a cousin or whatever totally had it happen to him.

I’m a combination skin person, but where I’m oily I’m SOO oily. And I use ... nothing. I don’t wash my face with anything. Now, I don’t wear much makeup (and never foundation) so I can get away with it better. I rinse it every morning in the shower, and I’ll wipe it with a plain muslin cloth, but I don’t use any kind…

The only problem was that it was often full of teenage girls. They’d vacate right quick when I started pulling a boob out, though.

Pumping is a wee bit more intensive than nursing.

I mean, it’s a THEATER. It has green rooms and dressing rooms and what have you. Those backup dancers have to get ready somewhere. There should absolutely be a room that is not a bathroom that could be set aside for it.

I would make extra trips into Nordstrom just because their bathroom had a “mother’s lounge” where I could nurse on a plush sofa. That was the only bathroom I’d breastfeed in. I do not give a shit if someone sees my tits, frankly. They’re gonna have to deal.

There’s a lot of things for babies you can get on the cheap. They don’t need elaborate crib sets or organic hemp onesies BUT - do not cheap out on the breast pump. Buy or rent the best one you can. I could let down milk with enough force to extinguish a California forest fire*, but I could not get a damn drop out with…

I have also said “The Shining elevator scene” as my euphemism of choice.

Yeah I was using a floofy flower one for a year and Clue let me enter in all the past data I’d collected. It still never predicts it accurately, but that’s the fault of my psychotic uterus.

Someone I know typoed it as “Stark Week” and kept it, because bloody GOT reference is also appropriate.

He saved 3000 babies by ... killing random bystanders? It’s not like any of them were performing the abortions!