“And you know, I totally didn’t mean it that way but also lots of people agree with me.”

Rough. Definitely Rough.

Like, what I wish someone had told me: you already know you’re not gonna get any sleep AFTER the baby’s born, but no one told me I wouldn’t sleep for a month BEFORE because I had to pee every single hour like clockwork.

Seriously. I had a 30% chance of having a successful vaginal delivery. So I opted not to try at all, even though my OB said I could try labor if I wanted. It never occurred to me to ask my then-spouse’s opinion on how I should deliver the baby. Like, I’m doing all the work here, it is 100% my choice of how it gets…

I was so proud, honestly. She was in there for a long time, and I was like “wow what took so long?” She said “Oh, I asked for an STD test and they had to draw blood. I told you not to come in with me because I knew you’d faint.”

We did too, so she might have been concerned for a few minutes. But I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face!

Yeah that caught my eye too. Uh, you need to start that BEFORE you’re having sex if you’re trying not to have babies!

I totally joked that I was going to do #2 with my daughter. Big celebration with all red foods!

your vagina molds to the first penis inside it so don’t ruin it for your husband by sleeping with someone else first

Pfft, they lacked imagination.

I had totally commented in a different thread that this same guy gave me the equivalent of Marge’s bowling ball. Nailed it.

I think my mother would have died. Or I would have, from the embarrassment. Hell, I went 5 months without telling her I’d gotten my period. I just stole pads out of her bathroom.

OWL is a FANTASTIC program and I cannot recommend it highly enough. The UUs run it, and also the United Church of Christ if you lean more Christian.

You’re braver than I, I refuse to go out to eat over Valentine’s weekend if at all possible. Too many goddamn people and overpriced “special” menus.

Ditto. I’d prefer a gift that says “I saw this and thought of you” over “society mandates that I give you things!” anyday.

It’s funny, because I was raised totally non-religious. We never went to church, and I didn’t know Easter was about anything but bunnies and jellybeans until I was like ... 12. But my mother had still internalized all the sexual hangups of her parents’ generation, so I never really got “the talk”, and I got a lot of…

He had no idea why I wasn’t thrilled to get it. I mean, Animaniacs was a good cartoon, but I wasn’t a huge fan of it or anything. Plus we were in our 20's, so why I’d be putting money in a piggy bank at that point?

Mine are:

You are a wise man. (Or woman).

Jesus that’s terrifying. I’m so glad she made it through!